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[He lays there on the floor, almost face down into the tile. He doesn't say anything for a long moment. He doesn't move either. He is completely still and since he doesn't need to breathe, almost looks deceased.

He's not though, and finally he speaks.]

Alphys. I'm dead, Alphys. I'm bona fide dead. I can't believe Wonderland has finally killed me.

[He is playing it up a bit, but the crack in his body has definitely increased in size, wrapping a little around his hip towards his back.]

[She sighs in relief when he speaks- if he's still got that sense of humor, he's fine.]

Oh m-my god, no you're not. And I can't, uhm, f-fix you if you're not up on the work table. Can you s-stand, or am I g-gonna have to get the golem to carry you?

[You eager to get picked up again, Metta?]

[The speed in which he jumps to stand up is not at ALL indicative of how much he doesn't want the golem to grab him again, no sir! He ignores the ominous creaking noise and the loud warning bells in his head as regains his footing.]

No! No, no I'm fine. Sort of.

[He walks with her over to the work table and huffs.]

Since when did you have security in your lab?

[Yeah, that's fucking right, get up you little dingus. She rolls her eyes, picks up everything she dumped on the table and brings it over to her work station. His question, though, gives her pause, because... that's right. He wasn't here for all that. Doesn't know about the Blasters, and... this isn't really her secret to tell.]

Well, uh, I didn't w-want anybody taking things where they, uh, m-might get hurt. Plus, uh, h-he wouldn't fit well in my room. He kind of f-followed me home after an event.

Alphys, no offense, but other than you and me, your lab is full of trash. Speaking of though, why are you still scavenging for materials??? The Mansion can give you literally anything, and you're still grabbing soda cans from lunch tables??

[Oh yeah, he's ripping into Alphys over this.]

Followed you home? After what event?

[You're required to tell him. Best friend privileges after all.]

Well, s-sometimes it's easier to find, you k-know, familiar materials, and uh, s-stuff, and...

[listen. listen. listen.

she has no excuse.

of course, explaining that event is... well, some very, very unsavory memories, and she tries to repress the small shudder that runs over her at the memory of holding Papyrus' body as he turned to dust, of Chara hunched over Frisk's lifeless form screaming, of having to physically drag Sans from the ground because he wouldn't move, would've died right there.]

W-Well, uh, these huge tunnels s-showed up and we were supposed to e-explore them? So, uh, Papyrus and Undyne were r-really excited, and I found uh...

[She looks around the lab a bit before retrieving a small, glowing rod.]

This t-thing! Which I guess controls it? And later I f-found them and they followed me, so... we're here.

[That's totally the relevant parts of that and not the cherry-picked clean version. Noooope.]

Alphys. That's bullshit. All you have to do is look at the closets and think "steel" and then BAM! You've got steel.

[He looks at the control rod and gives it a gentle poke.]

Fascinating! Is it magic? What else did you all find down there?

It's not t-that easy! You could just get a c-cube of it! Do you know how hard it is to j-just get something functional out of, like, a cube of s-steel???

[She rolls her eyes, but is snapped back when he asks about 'what else'. Does death and destruction count? Because oh buddy. They sure did find that.]

Uh... monsters, mostly. It w-wasn't, uh... it really w-wasn't a very good event, all things considered.

[Please don't ask more than that, Mettaton. She's going to start busying herself looking over how deep the crack is and how she's going to fill it.]

I bet if I just looked, not even walked, just looked at the closet in this room and asked it for a rod of steel, it would give it to me. Or anything you wanted to work with, it would give it. Wouldn't you, sweetheart?

[The closet (and in extension, the Mansion) does not answer, but Mettaton nods anyway.]

Our Monsters or the monsters that humans always talk about? You know, the evil kind?

[DON'T FUCKING DO THIS YOU LITTLE MENACE. She just gives him a grimace and moves on.]

Like what humans c-call monsters. Couldn't be talked to, they just w-wanted to fight and kill and stuff. And definitely not m-made of magic.

[She's taking notes about the crack and starting to figure out how she's going to fix this.]

It was, uhm, r-really scary, honestly.

[As she takes notes, he finally jumps up onto the table, sitting on it. He grimaces at the thought of having to be shut down again while she works, but it's a small price to pay for a fully functional body.]

It sounds like it was, Alphys. I'm sorry that it happened.

[He looks to the golem thoughtfully as it sits back in its corner.]

Were you the only one who got something or did the others find something too?

Well, uh... a giant s-spider followed Papyrus home.

[Come to think of it, she hasn't seen that spider in a while. She knew they were going around together at Summerween. Huh.]

And uhm, I think Chara got a rocket launcher, which, uh, is really just dangerous for e-everyone involved. But, uh, o-obviously they haven't used it. I don't know about, uhm, a-anyone else.

Oh! I didn't know Muffet was here!

[He grins, making it obvious that he was joking.]

...a rocket launcher. A rocket launcher??? Next you're going to tell me someone pulled out a tank.

[He shakes his head, turning his attention to her notes.]

So. What's the damage, doc?

[She's already writing down notes, so she absentmindedly answers.]

Oh, I think s-someone did, it was on the network... I wasn't paying attention.

[Because she was stopping Sans from falling into a pit of existential despair, if we're being real here. But she thinks she has what she needs.]

W-Well, I could seal it up with heat to re-melt the glass, but it'd s-still be cloudy in that area-- but you w-wouldn't have to be, uhm, disabled. Otherwise I could just replace the canister, since it's a n-non essential part and we have the supplies, but it's gonna take a few hours of you being off. If t-that's okay.

[Mettaton looks to the reader like an actor looks to the camera on the Office.]

Of course. Of course someone did.

[Rebuilding the 4th wall over here, Mettaton turns his attention back to Alphys and he looks deadly serious.]

Cloudy glass is not a part of my aesthetic, Alphys. You'll have to knock me out. We have no other choice.

[She rolls her eyes, because of course he'd have an issue with cloudy glass.]

Fine, fine. You're lucky w-we're here in Wonderland and it's easy for m-me to get nice glass. You k-know the usual precautions, and uh...

[She bends over and fiddles around with something on the floor before popping up with a cord.]

And plug y-yourself in so you don't lose power and all t-that.

Wonderland really knows how to treat a man. I'm sure if you went to that closet over there you'll find the glass you need along with some workable steel.

[He lies back, plugging the cord into his main charger into his neck, giving a small shiver at the sudden influx of electricity. He pauses for a moment, looks at her, and smiles.]

Thank you, Alphys. I don't know what I would do without you.

[She smiles, but rolls her eyes anyway. He's so cheesy.]

I'll w-wake you up in a bit and it should be fine. Sleep well, or s-something!

[She lets Mettaton fade off as she plots over to the closet to retrieve her supplies and get to work.]

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